Questions and Answers about Weddings
at Grace United Methodist Church

The service of marriage is a worship celebration uniting two persons in a sacred covenant before God and their families and friends. One of the most joyful aspects of ministry is helping couples to plan for their wedding. This information may be of help you as you plan for your marriage service. It answers a number of questions that are often asked when planning a wedding...perhaps some that you have in mind.

QUESTION - "I want to get married at Grace United Methodist Church. What do I do?"

Telephone the church office at 201-891-4595 or come to the church. The best time to call is between 9 AM and 3:30 PM Monday - Friday. If the church and pastor are available, the dates and times of your wedding and rehearsal will be placed on the church calendar. We will work with you to coordinate all other details of the wedding.

QUESTION - "Is there any date when the church is not available for a wedding?"

Yes! There may be conflicts with the church's schedule and in particular with holiday preparations prior to Easter. (Due to the nature of Holy Saturday, the day before Easter, weddings are not scheduled.) In addition, another wedding may already be scheduled for the time and date you desire. Be sure to check with the church before finalizing your reception plans.

QUESTION: "Can I be married at a banquet hall, at home, in a park or some setting other than the church?"

Yes. The pastors are available to perform such ceremonies. Contact the church office for the "Off-Site Wedding" brochure with more information.

QUESTION - "When do we see the pastor before the wedding?"

There are usually two pre-marital conferences with the pastor to discuss the details of the wedding and the meaning of marriage. A rehearsal before the wedding is also scheduled. During the first interview, several important things will occur:

A wedding information form will be completed and a sharing with the pastor will focus on your relationship and the upcoming wedding ceremony.
You will be given copies of wedding ceremonies to review (decisions on these items do not need to be made until the second session).
Any questions you have will be answered.
A date for a second interview will be scheduled.

QUESTION - "What happens at the second interview?"

The details of the wedding service will be reviewed and finalized, along with procedures for the rehearsal. The pastor will also discuss with you the privileges and responsibilities you will assume in Christian marriage. (It is expected that at least one of you shall be a professing Christian.)

QUESTION - "How do I get a marriage license?"

A marriage license may be obtained from the registrar of Vital Statistics. If the bride is a resident of New Jersey, the license must be obtained from the community in which SHE lives. If she is a non-resident and the groom is a resident, get the license from HIS municipality. If both are non-residents, get the license from Wyckoff Township (the municipality in which the wedding will be performed.) Adult witness (es) who have known each of you for six months must be present when the application is made. You will also need a birth certificate and a driver's license and/or some other form of photo ID. If you were previously married, you will need copies of your divorce papers. The municipality charges a fee to issue a license. Check with your local registrar for more information. There is a 3-day (72 hour) waiting period between the time of application and issuance of the license. When issued, the license is valid for 30 days.

QUESTION: What do I do with the license once I get it?

Arrange to bring your marriage license to the pastor no later than the day of the rehearsal. The pastor will complete the license after the ceremony, and an unofficial (uncertified) copy of your license will be given to you at that time, along with a marriage certificate from the church. Within five days after the wedding, the minister will send the completed license to the Registrar of Vital Statistics of Wyckoff Township. Once your license is received by the town, the clerk will countersign it and record it in the town records. Certified copies of your license must be obtained from the town clerk's office.

QUESTION - "Do we have to have a rehearsal?"

A rehearsal is not required if it is an informal wedding with no processional and just the bride and groom and two witnesses. In all other cases, a rehearsal is strongly advised. A rehearsal for the wedding helps the bride and groom to feel comfortable at the wedding because they have gone through the ceremony at the rehearsal. It insures that all participants are familiar with the various procedures, and it lessens the apprehension which naturally goes with a ceremony which is unfamiliar to many. The church provides a Wedding Coordinator who is present at the rehearsal and wedding to assist in seeing that your wedding will run smoothly.

QUESTION - "When should our rehearsal take place and what should we expect?"

Normally, the rehearsal is held the evening before the wedding at a time most convenient to all. Promptness in observing the hour of the rehearsal is important since there may be another rehearsal or wedding following. It is also important to have all members of the wedding party present. At the rehearsal, we will "walk through" the ceremony so that everyone knows where to stand and what to expect. The procession and recession will be rehearsed and the ushers will be instructed as to their duties and responsibilities. The rehearsal is not a formal occasion, but since it does take place in the sanctuary appropriate attire and behavior is expected. The rehearsal itself should take about 45 minutes to complete.

QUESTION - "What is included in the marriage service?"

The service of marriage is a sacred function of the church. It is regarded as one of the great religious occasions in life, and although the church is the place of many weddings, none is ever considered routine or unimportant. Every effort will be made by those who minister in this church to make your wedding meaningful and memorable.

There are five major parts in the ceremony which, according to the United Methodist Church, are included:

A statement of the meaning of marriage.
The public declaration of intent by the couple.
An exchange of the marriage covenant (vows) between the bride and groom.
The public declaration of the minister that the couple is husband and wife according to the church and the state.
Prayers for the couple and a benediction.

Variations and/or additions, such as scripture, poetry and music, may be included as long as they are appropriate to the occasion. The pastor will work with you to design a meaningful ceremony.

QUESTION - "Will there be a bulletin for use at the ceremony?"

The service of marriage usually does not include elements of participation by guests that require the use of a bulletin. If you desire bulletins, the church maintains a supply of bulletin covers from which you may choose or you may purchase others at a local Christian bookstore or supply house. The church will print the copy for your bulletins on the church duplicating machines or you may have yours printed professionally. Sample copies are available from the pastor.

QUESTION - "I have a friend (relative) who is a minister. Can he/she perform my wedding?"

Yes, he or she may participate in the wedding, but one of the pastors of Grace United Methodist Church in Wyckoff must preside. In addition, there are certain formalities of "protocol" to be observed:

Other clergy are invited to participate by the host pastor.
You should ascertain whether or not another clergy person is willing to participate before you ask the host pastor to issue the invitation.
The pastor must be in good standing in a denomination which has an ecumenical relationship with the United Methodist Church.

QUESTION - "When should we arrive at the church on the day of the wedding?"

The ushers should be at the church at least 30 to 45 minutes before the service to greet and seat guests.
The groom and his best man should meet the pastor in the narthex 30 minutes before the service.
The bride and her attendants should enter the church building 15 minutes before the service. The Wedding Coordinator will direct them to the Parlor until the time of the wedding.

QUESTION - "Who plays and sings at our wedding?"

Our church organist plays at all weddings held in the church and will recommend music appropriate for your wedding. You should contact the organist at least one month before the wedding discuss your music. Soloists and other musicians can add much to your wedding. If you would like soloists or other musicians to participate, the organist will assist you in coordinating this.

QUESTION - "How do we decorate the church?"

FLOWERS: Flowers and other decorations should not be unduly elaborate. Whether a professional florist is used or you provide the arrangements yourselves, a "Memo to Florists" will be given you at the time of the first interview with specific guidelines. After the wedding, couples may take the flowers with them to the reception or leave the flowers in the church. If you plan to leave the flowers for use in worship the following Sunday, please notify the church office the week well in advance so that we can coordinate this with other flowers that may be used in worship and so we can acknowledge your gift in the Sunday worship bulletin.

CANDLES: The church provides candles which are lit during services of worship, which includes the wedding service. If you wish to use additional candles (in windows or in candelabras, for example), you will need to provide them. Lighted candles may not be used as part of bouquets carried by the bride or her attendants.

AISLE CLOTH/RUNNER: Aisle cloths were originally designed for churches with stone or wooden floors. Since our church has a carpeted aisle, a runner is not necessary, and we do not provide one. However, if you so choose, you may secure a runner from your florist. (More information about the runner is included in the "Memo to Florists.")

PEW BOWS: Ribbon or flower arrangements may be attached to pew ends with some type of elastic. Care must be taken, however, to avoid marring the finish. Masking tape, "scotch" tape or thumbtacks may not be used.

ACCESS: Time of access to the sanctuary for decorating should be established with the church office. Please determine the time your florist wants to deliver and arrange the flowers so that the church is prepared.

QUESTION - "How about throwing rice as the newlyweds leave the church?"

Rice, confetti, real rose petals, etc., are not recommended, as these may be tracked into the church, stick in or stain carpeting, and are particularly difficult to clean up. If anything is to be used in this manner, bubbles may be blown as the couple leaves the building.

QUESTION - "May we have a photographer take pictures of our wedding in the church?"

A professional photographer is welcome to take pictures before and during the service from the narthex or from the balcony. No flash or floodlights are permitted from the time the bride and her escort enter the sanctuary until after the benediction. The photographer may take pictures as the procession enters the sanctuary under the direction of the wedding coordinator (during the ceremony itself, the congregation should not be aware of the presence of the photographer). After the wedding ceremony is completed, you may return to the sanctuary to re-stage selected portions of the service for your photographer. At the first session with the pastor you will be given a "Memo to Photographers" which is to be given to your photographer.

QUESTION - "Who should be in a receiving line, and in what order should they stand?"

Most weddings include a receiving line in which the bridal party greets guests after the ceremony. The Wedding Coordinator will discuss this with you at the rehearsal.

QUESTION - "What physical facilities are available for my wedding?"

The main sanctuary can seat up to 275 people (including a balcony that seats about 50). The Sanctuary has a central aisle. It also has a pipe organ. We have ample parking facilities on church property.

QUESTION - "What will it cost to have my wedding at Grace United Methodist Church?"

Grace United Methodist Church relies on the generosity of its members and friends to maintain the facilities and to provide professional services for weddings. Call the church office for a schedule of suggested appropriate honoraria. All honoraria and donations should be paid at the time of the rehearsal.

QUESTION - "May I have my reception at the church?"

If Fellowship Hall is desired for the reception, application must be made to the Board of Trustees on forms available in the church office. Smoking and alcoholic beverages are not permitted in the church buildings. Charges for such a reception are determined by the Trustees, and can be discussed with the pastor.

A CLOSING THOUGHT:

We would feel that we failed in our responsibility if the full meaning of holy marriage, under God, were not kept before you. We do not offer a rental hall for weddings, but a sanctuary for those who seek God's blessing on their union. Be assured that when you leave the church on your wedding day that the door to Grace United Methodist Church in Wyckoff will always be open to you, and we pray that our relationship will continue to grow as the years unfold.

Questions and Answers about Weddings at Grace United Methodist Church