June 2009
Newletter “From the Pastor”
Stephen Ministers to be Commissioned on Sunday June 21
Most of you are aware that less than a year ago, a member of our church came to me with a question about something called Stephen Ministry. It is a ministry in which members of a congregation are trained to be listeners and to provide one-to-one care and support to people facing illness, sadness, change, loss or other difficulties—for as long as people need it.
I had heard of Stephen Ministry—it is a ministry that is in more than 10,000 congregations, of all denominations, all across the United States—but I didn’t really know what was involved in being a Stephen Ministry congregation, and so I told this member (it was Merryl Dietz, by the way) to get more information and begin exploring. And explore she did! Several people attended an informational seminar and indicated a willingness to get involved. After securing approval and support from the Administrative Council, four of us—Merryl, Rev. White and Dr. Roger White and I—were trained as Stephen Leaders at a week long session in Orlando, and we currently have ten people— Christine Blossom, Chris Cauda, Jenny Craig, Linda Lakner, Mike Lakner, Lou Markay, Marian Munson, Carollee Ognibene, Lori Quinn, and Kathryn Mudry Watson—who are now completing the 50 hours of training necessary to become Stephen Ministers—twenty classes of 2 and a half hours each. Training topics have included such things as developing listening skills, maintaining confidentiality, observing boundaries, ministering to those in grief, the importance of prayer, and how to provide support and encouragement without rushing in as an advisor or problem-solver.
By the way, Stephen Ministers are not “problem solvers.” They don’t come with an agenda to tell people how to solve whatever it is they may be dealing with. Nor are they there to cook meals or run errands either—although there may be times when they help arrange for that kind of care. Rather, the primary role of a Stephen Minister is to be a listener—to reflect, to clarify and to help people discover their own solutions and ways of addressing whatever it is they are facing. A motto of Stephen Ministry is “We are not cure-givers. We are care-givers: God is the cure-giver.” A Stephen Leader from another church put it this way “Our role is not to solve problems for people, but rather to help them—through prayer, trust, and support—to find strength and courage.”
Perhaps you know someone who might be interested in the services of a Stephen Minister. If you do, you might invite that person to talk to me or to one of the other Stephen Leaders, and we will begin the process of exploring whether Stephen Ministry is appropriate—and it will not be right for everyone, nor may we have an appropriate Stephen Minister available. The truth is even the current Stephen Ministers will not be available until their training is completed in June. But I want to invite you to think about taking advantage of this ministry when it is available, and to encourage others to do the same. And maybe, when we offer another training class next year, you might consider becoming a Stephen Minister yourself.
Contemporary Worship Dialogue
Several months ago, the Church Growth Committee presented a motion to the Administrative Council to explore reaching out to youth, young adults and others through meaningful contemporary worship in the Wesleyan spirit—without detracting from the traditional worship which is currently a part of Grace UMC. The Council approved the motion and a special “Ad Hoc” committee was formed to explore the purpose, the problems, the hopes and the fears that such an addition might bring. As a part of the committee’s work, several members of the committee visited United Methodist churches in New Jersey and New York that currently offer both “traditional” and “contemporary” service in the same church on Sunday mornings. (The Gilaberts visited Warwick, The Van Dyks visited Toms River, and the Kluthes visited Hackettstown.) After experiencing the contemporary services in those settings and meeting with leaders and members of those churches, the persons reported back to the committee to better help us understand some of the dynamics involved. The committee also talked about how this would affect, among other things, the staff and the music and education programs. The committee then considered eight different scenarios and scheduling options, including:
- making no change;
- keeping our traditional services at 9 and 11 in the sanctuary and having a contemporary service at 10 in either the chapel or Fellowship Hall;
- putting a contemporary service in the sanctuary between the services by moving our current 9 am service to 8:45 and moving the 11:00 service to 11:15;
- doing the same but moving up at 8:30 and 11:30;
- adding a contemporary service at 1 pm;
- having a contemporary service at 9 with traditional at 11;
- having traditional at 9 with contemporary at 11; and
- traditional at 9 and both traditional and contemporary at 11 (with contemporary in the chapel or Fellowship Hall).
After much discussion, three of the eight emerged with the most support-- #2, #3 and #4, in that order. However, additional ideas have continued to emerge as the possibility of adding a new service is discussed in other settings. The committee reported to the Administrative Council on May 26th for further dialogue. Notices were placed in the bulletins throughout the month of May announcing the meeting and inviting all interested persons to attend (all meetings of the Council are open meetings, by the way).
I am writing this column in early May, so as of this writing no decision has been made, although by the time you read this column the Council will have met and a decision may have been made. That decision may be to do nothing, to have another meeting for further discussion, to select one of the above options, or to consider some other way forward. I have my personal preferences, as do many others, but in the final analysis I don’t want to do what is best for me but what is best for Grace UMC and the church universal. I am trusting God and the process we are following to lead us step by step, hoping that none of us will box ourselves into positions that leave no room for further dialogue. If a service is added, it will not happen before September, and much work will need to be done in preparation for that. I ask that you keep the Council and the whole church in your prayers and pray that together we may discern where God may be leading us.
May Your Summer be a Time of Renewal
When I was younger, it seemed that things “slowed down” in the summer. It was a time of rest and relaxation, of recreation and renewal. As I get older, I am convinced that there is no such thing as a “slow” time of the year anymore. Even so, as the days have grown warmer and longer, and as schools take a break, the opportunities to enjoy the out-of-doors increase and many people try to get away from the routine of the rest of the year. Whatever it is you are about this summer, I pray it will be a time of renewal for you. (And whether you are in-town or out-of-town anytime this summer, remember to take time to worship and not to let your faith take a vacation.) Remember, also, that we move to one service at 10:00 am on Sunday, June 21 and remain at this hour through Labor Day.
Yours in Christ,
David E. Wiley III
